24th aug,10..1st k..twice..

9.40pm..l.ngr...an amzingly gud feel...

AN EXPRESSION..

DES DAYZ..PT NAI CONFUSION LEVELS KITNA HIGH H..NO ONE S ACTUALLY SEEMS 2 SUPPORT ME..NT FINDIN NYOE BY MY SIDE..IT S JS MA SHONA SENDING HAPINESS 2 ME..KAL BI PT AN KYA KYA HUA..FEEL LYK I MAY HAV LOST MY MENTAL BALANCE..BT THANKFULY DIN TNHAPPEN..CAME 2 OFFICE TODAY AGN..BAD WEATHER..AJEEB ENVIRONMENT..NO ONE ACUALLY SEEMS HAPPY WID ME..NN ME MYSELF NOT HAPPY WID DIS FACT...VRY BADLY EFFECTED BY DIS WRD SOCIETY..FEEL LYK LEAVIN DELHI DIS VERY MOMENT..MAY B 4 SM DAYZ..MAY B 4EVR...NEED 2 STAY ALOOF...JS 2 RECOVER FROM ALL DIS.

DN T MK IT 2 LATE...

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

a memory..

shona kissed me 4 d 1st tym ystrday...

superb day...nn defeated endin..

wel done sumit..u almst hv bn made felt ashamed of smthin u nvr thght wrng nn nvr wud b..u tried evrythin 2 kp thngs secret..u wer proud tht u shared things wid ur parents..u thght god ws noticin ur deeds..bt c wts left 4 u nw 2nite 4 u in dis wrld..nthin..no one knws u btr thn urslf..no one trsts u d way u do..thn who do we lie or be frank to..kiske samne hum samjhdar hone ki koshish krte h???whom do we try 2 cheat...der's no one to trst...one lie costs u life..one moment mks a hiddn thing turn lie if nt exposed by u on tym..kisi ke mat socho..no 1 is urs...evry1 hs his own mind set..an hour b4 i knew dis is not a gr8 week..nn nvr knew d nxt moment..i wil get a shock..i thing kpt secret wud turn out 2 b a lie..n wud make me lier..no one cares...i knw i hv bn stingd by dis thing wich wud distrb be lyflong...ek secnd mein sb badlta h..ya yu kahe ki badalta kuch nai..nazariya badalta h...

m i js a state of mind??

wel here i m making myslf clear agn...m i real or js a state of mind..gr8 day..awsum biryani..al fresco dinr..an all an all fine dine expriencewid ankur.loadz of thghts i discussd..nn enjyd d tym...di tym posting frm a laptop..feels gr8..experience is js nice..vry nice...comfort of d be...late nite nyin..fun h..lgta h jaise lyf choti h ..simple ..bs vision chaiye..perspective chahiye..mny stil nt botherin me at d moment..hd a lot of up's n downs...sb mila ek moment mein..nn sb gya bi ek moment mein..hv statrtd being opeen to ppl...dnt knw hw crctis it..bt i knw i m real..2 real 2 b poiticaly crct.no need les 2state this regard...there shona is helpin her room mate wid maths..i m stuck wid ma prjct for ma last sem...wfpl finance hs lft me wid no tym..nn wht 2 say thn..i m also only bothrd abt livin des moments..maza aa rha h..jis hasi ke sath aj hun..logpuchte hain..tum itna kyu muskura rahe ho....tmrw hv 2 meet shona..nn at d moment hv 2 wrk..so btr..2 strt n finish off all..cheers 2 dis saturday nyt..nnn!!

28th feb,10...kck wid shona...

wel..0056 hrs..1st march..js ready 2 slp..i stood up agn..may b cz..mind is buzzin wid moments..28th feb,10...2day it ws karthik calin us..durin ofc hrs, saw promo of dis mve nn felt..2 songs frm it already hv encroached mind..hw d mve wud b..thght b4 askin shona 4 dis..bt i wished..so i got..we wer late by few mins..nn misd d starrin..bt as we tuk d seats..ws gud 2 c..farhan as mr.kartik soberly dressd wid simple specs on..does seemd lyk a loser..bt wsn t ...in btwn came d moment whre he gets d cal frm kartik..intrstin???naa...tht i knew already..i wntd it 2 gt deeper...in btwn i saw shona..she ws fully in2 d mve..i dnt knw if she ws aware of ma glances..bt her swt laughter inbtwn on short silly moments ws mkin me say..hmm wow..i ws delighted..b4 interval we hardly hd ny words 2 say...deepika ws ful on wid this new confident kartik on screen..he made her say yes wid unusual acts..i apreciate tht..cz nw whn i m getin pure in dis relatn..i cn vry wel undrstnd..hw it feels lyk...romance ws vry real n amazin..infct kartik also cals deepika as shona in d mve...agn a point wich i nvr imagined bt 2 ma surprise arose ma feelin..durin d intrval we both did wnt out..bt returned widout popcorns as i ws avoidin cola..nn she refused popcorns ...aftr d mve der ws a whisper amng us..nn eye contact twice...she 's a bit shy lyk i used 2 b..bt tht shynes kills me..its lyk anthr jewel of her..our elbows did touch whre i agn thght 2 remove it..bt dint..i felt it..nn js felt it..at tht tym my instinct said ok 2 it...mve ws a thrillr in 2nd half..so evry1 stayd quiet..aftr d mve we had a roll..cold cofee..nn a truffle ..tht we shared..luvd it..cz she pointd 2 truffle only frm d shop..i ws nt scared roamin in ma vicinty...as othr people do..luvd dis day..got evry hapiness..said 2 god..u blessd me agn..gave d tym i wntd 2 spnd wid shona..wid her in lyf..thngs chngd a lot..nn my feelings getin pure..i m feeling tht srk ws ryt.."jb kisi cheez ko dil se chaho..to sari kaynat tumhe usse milane mein lg jati h.."hope i cary dis thruout lyf..nn shona wud b der wid me 4evr...although i m ready 4 nythin cz i knw..i ll bear nythin aftr recent past !!!goin 2 slp nw..hv 2 meet shona agn n dreams...b'ful ws d day wid her...

The Interview With God Poem

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons
you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”